Greedy men: how to recognize them, what to talk about? Stupidity and greed
Greedy men are not uncommon in the modern world. Sometimes the realization that the chosen one is "sparse" comes to the women late. How to recognize in a man "chaos" before the beginning of a serious relationship? What is the difference between greed and economy? The information below is helpful in understanding these issues.
Why are men greedy?
The basis of behavior is laid in childhood. A man copies his father, grandfather, elder brother, uncle, fully or partially taking on their negative and positive qualities. Also, a small boy remembers the father's relationship to his mother, and in the future will use the same model of behavior. If the father in some way deprived the mother, then the future man will do the same, because such behavior for him is the norm, grafted from childhood.
Miserliness and greed, manifested at an older age, are due to the following reasons:
- Lack of money in the family. A man who has grown accustomed to saving on everything from childhood, constantly listening to censures from his parents about his waste, is predisposed to stinginess. And it is not at all necessary that a greedy man will grow from a little boy later. Psychology notes that a person, having become established and having achieved certain material benefits, can be generous, but at the same time economical.
- Material well-being in the family. Boys, spoiled by their wealthy parents since childhood and knowing that the "best piece" will certainly give them, are also predisposed to skuperdyaystvu. In relationships with the opposite sex, such greedy men will be selfish. They will not spend their money on their beloved, but they will not save on their own hobbies and desires.
- Greed of father and mother. Mean parents from childhood instill greed for the future man. Here, avarice sooner or later will manifest itself, even if the young man was not greedy earlier.
The difference between greed and economy
Some women do not share these two absolutelydifferent concepts. It is believed that if a man saves on his lover, then such a man - "miser". The stereotype that has developed over many years is almost impossible to break. But it is worthwhile to know that between economics and greed is a fine line, only breaking which, the man becomes mean.
What is human greed? This uncontrollable desire to possess money, things, feelings of other people in an amount significantly exceeding the norm.
Savings mean rejection of anything in favor of saving resources. That is, the economical person does not waste, but also does not save his savings in vain.
Greedy men differ from economical ones in thattry not to protect themselves from costs, but, on the contrary, spend their finances on themselves and their own desires, bypassing the desires of people close to them. The economical man will not ignore the beloved, even if he experiences some financial difficulties. Therefore, one should not confuse greed and economy, and one should not blame a young man if he instead of a huge bunch of roses presented you with a modest bouquet of wildflowers.
It is worth knowing that an economical man is an excellent candidate for husbands. With it, your family will not need, since he knows how to plan expenses correctly.
A greedy young man can never become a good husband. He will save not only on his beloved woman, but also on children.
The first meeting with a man, as many believewomen, should be memorable. Flowers, a restaurant or a cafe, beautiful gestures, compliments - all this should be present on the first date. According to representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, a man should make an impression, otherwise he simply will not be able to "hook" his chosen one.
On the first date to recognize a greedy personis quite difficult, since the absence of flowers or money - this is far from an indicator of stinginess, but just a coincidence. Perhaps, the man simply did not have time to buy flowers or forgot. However, you can still recognize greed by noting a few nuances in the behavior of the chosen one.
Behavioral peculiarities of "skuperdyaev" on the first date
Greedy men will never allow themselvesoffer the lady an extra cup of coffee. And after a hint of her, a grimace is barely noticeable. However, in the same way, with the exception of grimaces, inattentive or ill-bred persons can behave themselves.
In addition, a greedy man will not forget in passingor it is veiled to mention that he does not have much money. Almost any conversation will be translated into a financial topic. But here there are nuances: a self-respecting man will not discuss the lack of finance, even if he is "skuperdyayem." The phrase "no money" will sound much later, when the relationship will move to a new level.
As practice shows, the meager representatives of the strong half of humanity at the first meeting with a lady, held in a cafe or restaurant, paying the bill, never leave a tip to the waiter.
Another important point, which is worthpay attention, this is how he looks at you while placing an order in a cafe. A frightened or heavy gaze indicates that your chosen one is a potential "scumbag".
What to do if you understand that your husband is a greedy person
It happens that after several yearsa man's life is greedy. What to do in this case? The main thing is not to put pressure on him and make sure that this is really a manifestation of greed, not economy.
Greed for money does not always manifest itself immediately, butsometimes a woman connects her life with a man, not paying attention to his shortcomings. His pettiness and desire to control the expenses of the chosen one remain unnoticed exactly until she is dependent on him. That is, as soon as for any reason a woman is left without work, the husband's greed becomes more noticeable.
In this case, the best help is the negotiating table. Try to call it in a constructive dialogue or use the tips below.
Hiking together for shopping for food isa great way to show her husband the real value of goods. Some men, not knowing about the price of a particular product, begin to slander their wives, accusing them of squandering. This causes a storm of negative in women, and they, in obedience to the emotional impulse, call husbands greedy.
What to talk with a man at this time? Communicate with him on topics that are removed from finance, the main thing is that the information should be positive.
Payment of bills
Count your family budget together. Do not take full responsibility for yourself, but do not shift all payments to it. A man should see in you a support, a reliable friend, who will support him in any matters.
If the spouse is related to joint expenseswithout due understanding, then in this case you can assign him once a day to pay for a kindergarten, utilities, Internet services and other things. However, it should be done without any reproach, without provoking a scandal.
What to talk with a man in this situation? For example, tell him that you do not have time to visit the bank to pay bills, and the outstanding debt will be charged penalties. Emphasize that only he can help you here.
Perhaps, your beloved is simply tired ofexhausting work, and he needs rest. Spend time with him, away from children and family problems. This will strengthen relations, and help to survive the crisis situation.
Praise is the best panacea for greed
Praise your man as often as possible, do not hesitate to tell him compliments. He must feel love, he needs care.
A man needs an understanding and a warm attitudenot less than a woman. To overcome the first manifestations of greed, it should be treated with some superiority. Do not be afraid to slightly exaggerate its merits, and play down shortcomings.
Wife is an example for her husband
Be an example for your loved one, give him gifts, just like that, without any reason. Small pleasant surprises will not leave him indifferent. Do you want to make your man generous? Become generous to him.
Do not be stingy in emotions, rejoice in a childlike way, learn to understand his sense of humor. Remember that greed can be not only material, but also emotional.
If your character is really presentsuch a trait as extravagance, then try to get rid of it. Avoid unnecessary waste from the family budget, do not buy unnecessary things, without which you can do without.
Love your man? Then get ready for the fact that under it you have to adjust. Changes in behavior and character will help to change not only the attitude towards you, it will also cause in your partner the desire to change.
Do not mention other men when communicating with your husband,Do not put them in an example - this will only exacerbate the situation. Do not tell him that he is in some way worse than others. Your man for you must be unique, best and most-most.
What you do not need
Psychologists do not advise directly expressing to a man that you suspect him of greed. We need to bring it to the discussion of the problem as gently as possible, otherwise a scandal may break out.
In communicating with a man at the first sign of greed, you can not:
- insult and humiliate him;
- shout, threaten with divorce;
- start a conversation with children;
- force a man to agree with your opinion;
- blame her husband for his failure.
In addition, it is important to understand what caused greed.
Why did the husband become greedy?
This question is asked by women, for the first timeThey are faced with an unpleasant trait of the nature of their beloved spouse. The appearance of signs of greed is determined not only by the previously hidden miserliness, upbringing, but also by the defiant behavior of the spouse, as well as by other factors. Such as:
- accumulated unresolved problems in the family;
- sexual dissatisfaction;
- heavy physical labor;
- lack of understanding on the part of the spouse, its aggressive nature.
Sometimes women themselves provoke such an attitude of the lover to themselves. The requirements of buying expensive gifts, extravagance destroy a harmonious relationship.
In what situations does the intervention of a specialist
For help to a family psychologist,To address, if earlier for the husband of similar behavior it was not marked or celebrated. A critical manifestation of greed is saving not only on the wife, but also on the children, and also on oneself.
It is worth knowing that pathological greed is equated with mental illness, and timely assistance to a loved one is a necessity.
After you once met with a youngman and realized that he is incredibly greedy, the choice is yours: to be with him and accept him as he is, or refuse to communicate with him. In any case, you need to listen to your own intuition and feelings - they will prompt whether the right choice was made by you.